By Durgadas, Veda Kovid, AYT
Ayu. Clin, Ayu. Pharm, AMPKT, AMBT, ALC
(c) Durgadas (Rodney) Lingham / Arogya Ayurvedic Health Ltd.
All Rights reserved.
No part of this article may be copied or reproduced in any manner, except by direct permission from the author.
NOTE: This piece is highly satirical and reflects the narcissistic mind of the European entering into native spheres.
BEWARE that this article may contain traces of sarcasm,mockery and other dangerous aspects to some people. We advise discretion. If you have any allergies at all to Truth, please stop reading and consult your Licensed Mental Health Professional immediately!
Dear European Vedics,
Namaste! Love and Light! Kia Ora! Aloha! Sat Sri Akal!
On this ever so glorious day of days under the Heavenly Father (aka Our Father in Heaven), I wish to express infinite thanks and gratitude to our European brothers and sisters for enlightening us in so many areas of our native faiths, philosophies and healing traditions (that they call “earth-healing” traditions).
For thousands – nay, tens of thousands of years or even millions as per our timelines, our Rishis, Swamis, Acharyas, Gurus, Vaidyas, Jyotishis and others have been lost in the darkness of Mediterranean Caucasoidic influence along with the other (unholies) as Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, Sumerians and other leaders of ancient-world civilisations. However, now thanks to the new wave of Alpino-Teutonic Kelto-Germanic stock, we have all been enlightened to the fact that our ancient traditions were nonsense, as you have, through Sri Mahashakti Avatar, Madame Blavatsky and others in the holy and sacred Theosophical Society, brought to light the vast areas that remained unilluminated to us since the time of Vedic revelation with Sri Brahma Adyaprajapati.
If it were not for your Ascended Masters and their sacred ethereal wisdoms from what you call ‘shark-rah’ (chakra)-balancing to the illuminated knowledge of reducing the complex and complicated system of Darth Vader’s vaidya nemesis ‘Ah! Yoor-Vader’ (Ayurveda) down to the ‘dough-shas’ (doshas) alone, as well as other contributions such as channeling the Ascended Masters (Bless It Be!), playing with gemstones on the body, tarot cards and other forms of divination – where would we be with our native traditions as Hindus, Polynesians, Native Americans, Aborigines, Africans, Taoist and Shinto Masters, Buddhists, Jains etc. ?
We have you to thank for all of these wrongful practices we have been practicing since time immemorial and also know now that our so-called insightful Brahmanas and Rishis were fools to spend numerous lifetimes trying to attain siddhis and higher wisdom as also liberation and atmajnana – what takes you enlightened Teutonic stock simply a few hours, months or even only a 200-Hour Yoga Certification course to attain – and in a western air-conditioned studio rather than a mountain or thatched-hut as our primitive yogi-ancestors! What can we do but naively bow down to your superior culture and genetics? I feel blessed to know you, Oh Lords of Light!
Just as your ancestors even rejected Catholicism and the early Mediterranean Christians told the Jews that their Rabbis had misinterpreted the Old Testament for thousands of years – so also now you have graced us with your Holier Than Thou light of knowledge and inspiration. You have shown us that Jesus was real and an avatar that lived the latter part of his life in Kashmir, not simply Caesar Augustus’ alter-ego as history reveals!
I cannot express my gratitude enough to all of you European Vedics and others that have blessed us with your celestial Colonial Superiorist-style grace and love. It also warms my heart to the core to see you dress as us and yet chastise us innocent children when we dare to dress as you in our native garb – but also rebuke us for not dressing in western fashion as well. We know that only sacred White Avatars such as yourselves as God’s chosen race of people may act as they wish. We Hindus and others apologise for any transgressions.
May you all continue to enlighten us and remind us of our non-spiritual states when we dwell in Satan’s darkness and commit sins such as quoting traditional Rishis, Acharyas and shastras, or when we may even employ logic, reason and rationale as per the ancient and modern systems. May you bring our minds back to the neutrality that is naivety and blind faith, and when you do quote any shastras, do so in a Biblical fashion, taken out of historical and cultural context and make sure that it applies only to us – never to you, who are holy and absolved from all transgressions and behaviours you expect of others!
Love and Light!
Jai Babaji! Jai Jesus!